Dreamed I was lying in bed with a big spider on my chest. It kept seeing off other spiders that approached and then I realised it saw me as its mate. A Victorian-style headmaster appeared and said something like ‘Worrad, don’t you think it’s time you made an honest arachnid out of her?’ and next thing I know I’m stood in a country church in a groom’s outfit with the spider on a plinth beside me wearing a little bride’s veil. I woke up then and I’m pretty glad I did. You know, all things considered…