I tried to watch a clip of a Yazidi woman giving evidence to the UN about suffering under ISIS but the clip stopped and wouldn’t load because the website hosting it wanted to show me an advert for fair-trade artisan chocolates first. And I thought ‘Christ, that’s the 2010’s perfectly summed up in one moment right there, the entire fucking dystopia’.

Soon after my mozzarella sticks were ready so I took them out the oven and now I’m reading Facebook and snacking.

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